I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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