oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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