I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Randomize
