..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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