no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
