so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
