Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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