DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
