I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize