Dual....:-)
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
