You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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