you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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