You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
