Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You pole danced in your parka.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
