If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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