You're so nebulous sometimes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize