i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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