Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Damn victory sex feels great
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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