This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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