eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
