I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
