Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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