I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize