girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
