90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
