I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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