yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
