I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
