i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
