Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
