i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
