if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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