I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
