if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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