You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
