Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
