I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize