they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
