is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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