my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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