Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I smell stomach acid.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
