What a fucking waste of an outfit
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
