it wasn't lemon gatorade
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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