You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
