So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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