just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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