Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
