My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
