Kiss
Puke
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
