I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
