I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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