just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
