I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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