Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
