I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
