I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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