I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
