I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
