Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Randomize
